Home / About Borbala & Sapiego
About Borbala & Sapiego
Hello, I’m Borbala, it’s really nice to meet you!
Let’s imagine, that it’s a beautiful sunny day, we are sitting at a table in a nice coffee shop, I am sipping my tea, you are sipping the drink you like, and we are having an intimate and deep conversation about our lives, and experiences.
You’ve just asked why I created the Sapiego® website and YouTube channel, where I provide information, courses and entertaining content on personal development, career change, and entrepreneurship.
My answer is simple: I see so many people struggling in workplaces they don’t like, in badly chosen career paths, or in unhappy relationships; while I would like to see everybody following their dreams to be fulfilled and happy, both in their professional life, and in their personal life.
In my life, I went through a lot while I was focusing on changing my inherently complicated circumstances, turned around my life, and improved my personality. Therefore, I gained extensive experience both in career change, and self-improvement.
I wonder, maybe you are in a place right now where I could help you with what I have learnt so far. So, I am happy to share my own experience to help you to move to the next level in your personal growth journey.
Skip ahead:
My career journey so far, in a nutshell:
I take a sip of my tea, and then ask you: what was your career journey so far? What industries and sectors you have tapped into and tried out? (The lines in italic from now on are my questions to you.) I listen to you, and then I share my journey:
Mine was quite varied. I have seen and experienced so many different worlds and industries:
- peasants and agriculture,
- artists,
- the music, television & film industry,
- the working class in warehouses,
- IT in the corporate sector working on websites,
- retail by selling products in stores, fairs, and e-commerce stores,
- entrepreneurship by creating and running online businesses,
- journalism,
- and property investment circles.
I have seen people from poor to fairly rich. I moved countries, and had to start my life over from scratch. Since I have seen so many different worlds and ways of living, and I have changed careers a couple of times, I have experience on how to do it successfully, and how to go after something that you would actually enjoy doing.
I share more details about my career journey, how I changed countries, and built up my life from scratch in a new country in the Sapiego® Stress-free Effective Goal Setting course. (If you want, you can unlock 2 modules for FREE!)
My personal journey so far, in a nutshell:
What type of family you were born into? Were you raised in a loving and supportive family, or were you raised in a troubled one?
Mine was the second one, unfortunately, because I was raised in a physically and emotionally abusive home. I needed a fair amount of self-reflection and determination to break away of the legacy of this traumatic childhood and unhealthy conditioning, get over family and generational trauma, heal from childhood abuse, and create a happy personality and balanced life that I am now living. Therefore, I’ve learnt a few things about self-love, self-respect, self-mastery, self-actualization, and how to successfully transform and improve yourself and your relationships. (In the future, I will create a course on how you can do the same, so keep an eye on the Academy section of this website.)
As you can see, I am in repeat cycles of realizing, learning and maturing. I’m on a life-long, never ending journey of growing, improving my personality and skills, and becoming better and better, and a more matured person day by day.
Are you interested in the details? Then I can tell more:
My career journey so far, in detail:
I was born in an Eastern-European country, Hungary, to an average urban working class family with peasant ancestors. The culture at that time was that people helped each other out, therefore in my childhood from time to time I had to work on the fields of my extended family to harvest the crops, vegetables, and fruit. They also had animals, like chicken, duck, pigs and sheep. This gave me a glance into agricultural life and peasant culture, and where food comes from.
Somehow, working on the fields never appealed to me. And I could never ever kill a chicken, no matter how hard my grandma tried to make me do it… So, these days sometimes I wonder, if our path in life is laid down from a very early age? I never felt that I belonged to that environment.
As a kid I did not realise, but my grandparents were quite poor, and lived on very limited resources
When I was born, Hungary was a communist country. I was 9 years old when the communist regime ended, and Hungary became a democracy. Of course, I was young, and I wasn’t really aware of the political changes, but I remember how the day-to-day life changed.
For example, in school, when I was in 3rd grade, we were the first class who started to learn English instead of Russian. Also, while previously the whole class got one(!) kiwi to eat as an exotic gift from our head teacher, when she came back from her first overseas holiday, and she chopped it to 26 pieces in order to all of us could taste it, after the changes imported exotic fruits like banana, orange or kiwi made their way to the stores, and became a part of everyday life. And we were allowed to travel to “the West”, to Austria, not just to other “friendly” communist countries, like Slovakia, and I got my first real Barbie doll, not just a copy.
So, when it comes to political systems, I have seen both authoritarian regimes, and democracy.
What were your blessings and talents as a kid?
I was blessed in two ways:
I was born in a charming village-like city, Szentendre, which is one of the artistic hubs of Hungary. Painters, sculptors, musicians, writers, TV personnel have been living there for more than a century. Therefore, as a child I just immersed myself into art, and it became imprinted on me. (Have you seen the first episode of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) series Moon Knight on Disney+? My city was one of the locations. I am so proud that my city appears in such a big show!😊 )
Also, it turned out that I had talent in music and singing, and I was lucky to be encouraged to nurture my talent during my school years. I used to sing in choirs, and I also played the violin for 9 years. In high school, I was awarded for my role in the school’s music life.
I did not realise at that time, because I just loved doing it, but music required a lot of extra time and “effort” from me after school. From the age of 9 to 19, after the general school hours I had to go to choir rehearsals, violin classes and orchestra rehearsals. This meant 6-8 extra hours per week, on top of school hours. Probably this is where my willingness and discipline to work on my goals in my free time, and putting effort into something that is important to me, comes from. Most of the time I don’t feel it as being a burden, but I actually enjoy doing it.
Do you have similar experiences? Putting effort into something without expecting any tangible reward, like money or recognition?
Have you utilized your childhood talents when you were choosing your profession?
I haven’t. Although everybody said that I should continue with music, I had low self-confidence at that time, and I did not dare to follow my true dream to become a singer. I’d rather choose a “safe” career and studied media, cultural management and event organisation at university. In my free time, to earn some money, with my friends we went to television shows and film shoots as extras, therefore I got a glimpse into the television and film industry as well.
But I missed music so much, therefore after university I tried to find a music related job, and I ended up working for a CD distributor. During these years I also became a freelance music journalist. My articles were published in prestigious music and cultural programme magazines of that time. I had seen the music industry from all aspects: recording songs in a studio, organising festivals and concerts, distributing the CDs to physical stores, selling them online in an e-commerce store, going to concerts and writing reviews, going to music award galas, and liaising with the musicians themselves.
Have you experienced any triggers during your career that made you consider changing career paths?
I definitely have. I loved music, but I quickly realised that the sector I worked in did not provide a good career path, and the possibility to become financially stable. Therefore, I became interested in entrepreneurship, and in my free time I set up an online store which was the first e-commerce store in Hungary specializing in selling orchids. (Yes, I was such a big orchid fan. You should have seen my flat at that time, OMG! I think I had around a hundred orchids at the peak of my orchid obsession. 😀 ) During this process I learnt a lot about designing and developing websites, e-commerce stores, and being an entrepreneur. The site actually performed quite well, but the only thing I did not really consider was the product itself. My big learning from this adventure was that never ever trade with a living product, no matter how much you love it!
What is your view, in order to change career paths, do we need to take on formal education or not?
As you might have noticed, I got all these jobs without having formal education on these fields. Yes, I had some related education, but not real formal qualification or degree on that specific field. So, I’ve learnt quite early on, and believe, that you don’t have to be officially trained in something. It is enough if you are passionate about it, love to do it, and willing to take the time and effort to build up the required skills, experience and expertise.
Which were huge milestones in your life? That changed the course of your life?
For me, the year 2013 was a big turning point. I lost my job (who buys CDs anymore?), and I also became a little bit disillusioned with Hungary, therefore I decided to move abroad. I left everything behind, moved to the UK with no connections, barely speaking the language, and started my life all over from zero. (For the detail on this view the first Module for FREE of the Sapiego® Stress-free Effective Goal Setting course.)
Have you ever took such a hit on your circumstances in the hope of creating a better future for yourself in the long term?
I have to tell you, that for me, the first couple of years were extremely tough. For example, in the first 5 years I lived in shared houses. It took me 5 years to be able to rent a flat on my own…
Also, in the first 9 months, I was working in a Marks and Spencer warehouse in 12 hours night shifts, collecting online orders. I got a glimpse into the life of the UK working class, and also the life of immigrants. It was fine for a start, but I never wanted to stay in this field. When I had enough of the night shifts and the temporary zero hour contract, I jumped into the unknown again, and moved to London. I became a sales representative in a souvenir store (next to Madame Tussauds) for another 9 months, where I met people and cultures from all over the world. I have a suspicion that I had even seen a North Korean tourist group, because they were all dressed up in the same uniform, and behaved in a way that reminded me of the communist era of Hungary.
If you ever were in a similar situation to me, what did you do to improve your circumstances?
I was determined to get back to the world of digital, and in my free time I studied hard to expand my knowledge on web design and learn new skills. This is how I became a UX designer, and in less than 2 years after moving to the UK I got my first office job. I was able to experience corporate culture and life as an employee of various companies, from horrific abusive places to truly wonderful, and caring companies.
So, it required some twists and turns, but I finally found a profession and workplace which fits with my personality, and which I am enthusiastic about. However, if you want to really make ends meet in the UK, buy a house and be financially well-off, you need to consider different alternatives. I had been interested in property investment for at least 10 years, even back in Hungary, therefore in my free time (again) I started to learn about property investment, and mingle with property investors. Now I know that it can be done, I just need to develop the courage to finally do it.
Do you have similar unfulfilled dreams? What holds you back from actualizing them?
As you can see, I have varied experience in lots of fields and sectors. I jumped into the unknown multiple times, and built myself, my skills and career up from zero. By launching Sapiego® I build on my former experience on creating an online business, and using my talent as a singer.
My personal journey so far, in detail:
How your family of origin shaped your life and your personality?
Mine shaped it pretty negatively, unfortunately. As I mentioned, I was raised in a physically and emotionally abusive home. Of course, I had no grasp of this as a child, not even in my teens and as a young adult in my early 20s. I thought that this was how life is. I guess, being peasants, my family has never been an emotionally developed family, and during the 20th century my ancestors suffered enormous trauma of the two world wars, and political changes. They had to survive, so I suppose that they had to toughen up, or distract themselves from the pain and trauma. Thus, they developed toxic personalities and behaviours as a result: narcissism, codependency, physical abuse, emotional manipulation. Alcoholism was also present in the wider family. This trauma and toxicity was passed on from generation to generation, until I finally stopped and looked into my way of being. By doing lots of self-reflection from my mid 20s, in time I realised and became aware of my unhealthy behavioural, toxic connection, and trauma bonding patterns.
What did you do to improve yourself and your personality?
I suppose I went through the usual cycles: reading self-help books, articles, trying to find out why my relatives behave in a certain way, and how I could change them, until I finally understood that the only person I can, and have to change is myself.
When I was 38-40 years old, I went to relationship coaching and therapy, and those two decisions changed my life. I’ve learnt to change my own mindset and behaviour, handle triggers, get over CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), and focus on the bright side of life. I’ve learnt to identify and distinguish toxic people from healthy ones, and be drawn to healthy personalities, instead of toxic personalities. I cannot tell you how happy and fulfilled I am these days, compared to where I was before.
So, I have experience on how you can successfully improve and evolve yourself, and change your circumstances and social circles for the better.
How does this all come together?
As you can see, I am in repeat cycles of realizing, learning and maturing. Should it be my personality, relationships, career, mental and psychical health, business, freedom or free time. I’m on a life-long, never ending journey of growing, improving my skills, becoming better and better, and a more evolved person from day to day.
Of course, I have my ups and downs. At my downs I am doubtful, I am messed up, disheartened, sad. At my ups I am joyful, enthusiastic, motivated, seeking new horizons, laughing. But I am mostly balanced, and have a positive and upbeat outlook on life. I try to focus on overcoming my fears, pushing my boundaries, stepping out of my comfort zone. I learn a lot about human behaviour, the psyche. I make mistakes and fall, and then gather my strength to stand up on my feet again, start to walk, and then run.
Although I was always interested in personal development, my awareness of my personality traits, thinking patterns and habits accelerated after I moved to the UK. Because building my career up from zero in a foreign country required deep self-examination. I needed to reflect on my behaviour, evaluate my thoughts, develop awareness, challenge myself, letting wrong habits go, and building new, healthy habits, behaviour, and mindset. I had to develop faith, confidence, self-respect, self-love, I had to create a positive self-image. I had to develop a strong “I can do it” mentality, and go after my goals, no matter how impossible it seemed to reach them. In order to go the right direction, I had to learn to listen to what my heart sings, follow my intuition, and go against my fears.
My 3 key learnings so far
If you look back on your life and assess your experiences, what do you think, what are your most important leanings so far?
Mine are:
1. I am the creator of my life: I can define my life goals, and go after them
Although after high-school I had a few years when I felt a little bit lost regarding what should be my career goals in life, I think I can consider myself lucky that around the age of 30 I roughly figured them out. During the years I fine-tuned these goals, and now I think I have a sense of a clear direction of where I want to go, what I would like to reach. Although from the eye of the beholder they can seem unrelated, each achievement that I can show off so far is a step towards my life goals. Sometimes the road was a little bit winding and bumpy, but I was willing to take on the hardship and the detours to get closer to my career goals. Overall, so far, I am on track to reach them.
When it comes to my personality traits, I needed a little bit more time. I started to consciously look into what kind of person I want to be in my late 30s. I have already made tremendous progress to improve my personality traits, but there are still some personal development goals that I want to achieve. And to be honest, when it comes to one’s personality, the notion to improve and be better never stops. But striving for being better and better every day is a good goal, I think. Do you agree or disagree?
I discuss my life goals in detail in the Sapiego® Stress-free Effective Goal Setting course.
2. I am responsible for the quality of my life by choosing how I respond to and handle people, situations and events
As you can see, I have seen lots of worlds and met lots of different people. I have seen dictatorship and democracy. I lived in Eastern-Europe and Western-Europe. I have seen peasants, the working class, the middle class, academic circles, business owners & investors, artists & musicians. I have met poor and rich people. I have met warm, pleasant and supporting personalities, and I have met persons with different dysfunctionalities like psychopaths, narcissists, codependents, and people who stabbed me in the back. I had a glimpse into the mindsets of a wide range of people. I am grateful for all the good and bad experiences, because now I have a wider understanding about how the world, regimes, and people operate. What are their motivations, how their mind works, and what drives them.
While previously I responded to all of them from my own personal wounds, during therapy I have managed to learn and internalise, that everything comes down to me, my mindset and my behaviour. I am the sole person who can determine the quality of my life by choosing how I respond to people, events, and even myself. I am the creator of my own interactions and experiences, and being mindful of this, I can influence the quality of my life. As I am getting better and better doing this, I experience more joy and happiness. Interestingly, I also become more and more accepting, even with people whom I don’t like, or events that I don’t want in my life. Now I understand where they come from, what drives them, and that I am free to exclude or include them into my life just by choosing a certain response.
How about you? What are your thoughts on handling relationships and life events?
3. Always trust my intuition
From a young age I was always tapping into my intuition, gut feeling, inner wisdom unconsciously. In certain cases I let myself go after what my inner voice suggested, what I really wanted to do at that time, what I really was interested in, what I felt that I could do with all of my heart. The biggest setbacks were those times when I went against my intuition and gut feeling. The result was enormous sadness, confusion and suffering. But when I listened to my inner voice, I always went to the right direction. Now I believe that despite being something of a mystical thing, listening to my intuition pays off, and I will never ever go against it in the future.
How about you? Do you trust your intuition, or do you let your rational thoughts override your gut feeling?
What's next?
Now that we are at this stage of our lives, much more mature and wiser than we used to be 😉, what is that you are looking forward in your future? What are your plans and dreams?
For me, creating Sapiego® marks a huge new chapter in my life, and I am super excited about it. 😊 Via the self-development courses, and the YouTube channel, where I focus on reviewing popular songs from a personal development point of view, in an entertaining way I would like to share the knowledge I have gathered so far.
I would like you to experience the joy and fulfilment that comes with overcoming hardship, developing and opening up yourself, and going after what is really important to you. I would like you to experience the joy of being your authentic self, a self that is full of doubts and faults, but also joy, love, purpose, and happiness. And which never stops evolving, till the day you die.
I think, the name Sapiego® beautifully represents this notion. When I came up with it by combining the words “Sapiens” and “Ego” even to my surprise it’s meaning was just perfect: “The Wise Self”. And it turned out that it has even more layers of meaning, if you look into other languages:
Sapiens – discerning, wise, sensible (Latin)
Sapi – wisely (Latin)
Ego – me, myself (Latin)
Piego – I bend, I fold (Italian)
Go (English)
This one word, Sapiego® can be interpreted in a way that you build on your inner wisdom, then wisely bend yourself to improve yourself day by day, and go after the new horizons that you are seeking. So, always use your Wise Self to guide you in all aspects of your life. 😊
What do you think? How the name, Sapiego® resonates with you? What feelings it evokes in you?
Oh, how time flies! We have drunk our drinks, and we need to say goodbye for now. But it would be nice to keep the discussion going. So, if you want to keep in touch, go to the Academy, or the Sapiego® YouTube channel, or connect on Instagram and Facebook, and let’s have fun together on the road of personal development. 😊
Wishing you a lot of learning and expanding, joy and happiness,
Borbala